i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love having hate sex.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
