butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
