i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
