i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
