Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
