im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
