I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
