Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
