Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
