Porn is love you can see.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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