4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
being pregnant is like rehab
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
