He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
