i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
