I feel like abortions should bother me more
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
