he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
