Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
