No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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