The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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