You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
