HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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