Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
