Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
