I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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