people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
