you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
