So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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