people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
