finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
