It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
