I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
