This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
