Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I want to be your penis for a week.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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