like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
