I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
