READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
