you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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