I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
