I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
