Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
