Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
