i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
