everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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