Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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