im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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