Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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