I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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