plz talk dirty to me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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