So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
