I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
