Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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