Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
