omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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