This girl is more easily done than said...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
