..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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