Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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