Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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