he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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